POURQUOI LES FEMMES VICTIMES DES ABUS SEXUELS GARDENT – ELLES SILENCE ?

 

Nombreuses filles, femmes sont victimes des abus sexuels de tout genre au quotidien, mais décident, pour diverses raisons, de garder silence.

Différentes raisons peuvent expliquer que de nombreuses victimes décident non seulement de ne pas porter plainte contre leur agresseur, mais aussi de taire complètement ce qui leur est arrivé, en ne se confiant à personne, y compris à des proches.

 

  • La honte et la culpabilité sont des barrières importantes à la prise de parole. En cas de viol, on entendra souvent des phrases comme « Oui, mais tu l’as un peu cherché quand même, tu étais aguicheuse, tu l’as chauffé, il fallait t’y attendre ». Du coup, les victimes de viol se sentent souvent coupables, elles se demandent si elles l’ont mérité, si elles ont fait quelque chose de mal, si elles auraient pu l’éviter, etc. Cette culpabilité les pousse à garder le silence sur ce qui leur est arrivé. Or, elles ne sont en rien responsables de ce qu’elles ont subi.
  • La stigmatisation est l’une des principales causes de ce silence. Dans de nombreux pays, une personne violée est considérée comme impure et salie. Elle couvre de honte et de déshonneur sa famille proche et sa communauté. Dans certaines régions du monde, ce rejet est directement lié aux stéréotypes encore très présents chez les hommes et chez les femmes. Selon ces idées reçues, une femme a été violée parce qu’elle s’est conduite de manière « indigne », s’est habillée de manière provocante ou s’est rendue dans des endroits risqués, comme des quartiers mal fréquentés.
  • La peur des représailles peut également expliquer le manque de dénonciation du viol. Les victimes ont parfois peur que leur(s) agresseur(s) se venge(nt) d’elles si elles le(s) dénoncent.
  • Le manque de connaissance du système judiciaire peut aussi jouer un rôle important. Les victimes ne sont pas souvent informées de leurs droits ni des ressources qu’elles peuvent mobiliser pour porter plainte.
  • Les victimes craignent le manque de considération de la personne à qui elles se confient. Elles ont peur que cette personne minimise l’agression (« c’était une simple moquerie voyons, tu n’as vraiment pas le sens de l’humour ! »), donne raison à l’agresseur (« ton mari est un brave homme, qu’as-tu fait pour qu’il s’énerve à ce point ? »), ou encore qu’il nie l’agression (« ton père ne pourrait jamais faire une chose pareille ! »).
  • Le regard porté par les autoritésest un problème récurrent pour les victimes de viols. Elles peuvent avoir peur des services de police, qui sont peu formés à l’accueil spécifique de ces victimes. Elles peuvent craindre que les policiers/ères les jugent, mettent leur parole en doute, voire même qu’ils soient violents avec elles.
  • Le lien qui l’unit à son agresseurpeut également encourager une victime à se taire. S’il est difficile pour une victime de parler de ce qu’elle a subi, cela l’est encore plus lorsque l’auteur de l’agression est un proche. Devoir dénoncer une personne de son entourage complique la démarche de la victime. Parler de ce qu’elle a subi aura des conséquences sur une personne qu’elle connaît, et cela aura tendance à augmenter son sentiment de culpabilité. Dans la plupart des cas d’inceste, par exemple, la victime ne souhaite pas que l’auteur aille en prison : elle souhaite simplement que les abus s’arrêtent.

Il est très difficile pour une victime de parler de ce qu’elle a subi. Mettre des mots sur ces évènements, c’est en quelque sorte les revivre, les rendre à nouveau réels. Mais en parler est nécessaire pour mener à bien un processus de reconstruction. De nombreuses victimes espèrent à la suite de l’agression pouvoir tourner la page toutes seules, mais se rendent compte après un certain temps à quel point c’est difficile. Même si une victime ne se sent pas capable ou ne souhaite pas porter plainte auprès de la police, il est important qu’elle se renseigne sur les structures d’aide qui peuvent l’accompagner.

 

Ne soyons pas prompt à condamner cette attitude. Il y a des facteurs qui justifient cela. Certes, cela semble inconcevable même pour des femmes en âge de maturité, mais parfois il y a des attitudes, des comportements que l’on ne sait justifier si on a pas vécu ce qu’a vécu la victime…

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